An investigative report
A disturbing trend has been quietly sweeping the automotive industry, and this reporter can no longer stay silent.
Automakers appear to be systematically removing turn signals from new vehicles — or, in what may be an even more sinister development, replacing them with a “delayed action” model that activates only after the maneuver is already complete.
The scale of this crisis is difficult to quantify. No official recall has been issued. No congressional hearing has been scheduled. And yet the evidence is everywhere, hiding in plain sight at every intersection in Adams County.
The symptoms are consistent: a vehicle will approach an intersection at full speed, offer no indication of intent, and then — without warning — simply turn. In more advanced cases, the turn signal does flicker to life, but only as a kind of after-action report, a courtesy notification that a turn has, in fact, occurred. Consider it the automotive equivalent of a text message that reads, “Heads up — I merged.”
The conspiracy appeared to cross a new threshold recently when a fully electric vehicle — the very symbol of cutting-edge automotive technology — was observed executing this same maneuver. This changes everything.
These vehicles cost tens of thousands of dollars. They have software updates delivered overnight. They can parallel park themselves. And yet, apparently, the turn signal remains an optional feature — or at minimum, one that requires a level of user engagement the manufacturer did not anticipate.
The financial motive is clear. Multiply the cost of a single turn signal relay across millions of vehicles, carry the one, and you are looking at savings that would make any shareholder smile.
The alternative explanation — that drivers are doing this on purpose — has been considered and rejected. That would suggest a troubling degree of intentional discourtesy, and this publication prefers to think well of its fellow motorists.
For now, drivers are advised to proceed through intersections with caution, assume nothing, and perhaps invest in a good set of nerves.
This is a developing story. Updates will be provided if and when a turn signal is successfully observed in the wild.